


You Don't Know the Hair of the Dark Side

by SmileAndASong



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Family Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Kid Fic, M/M, Modeling, Modern Era, Professors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 23:41:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17590631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmileAndASong/pseuds/SmileAndASong
Summary: Obi-Wan comes home one night and discovers that Luke decided to give Anakin an impromptu haircut. Why? To defeat the dark side, of course.





	You Don't Know the Hair of the Dark Side

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is, my very first Star Wars/Obikin fic! Special thanks captainmistyknight for being a fabulous beta, and for letting me gush about all the tiny little world-building details that I got to come up with for this AU. 
> 
> There are a lot of not-so-subtle references to the Star Wars canon in this fic, and hopefully, they come across as endearing and not overly cheesy. There's also some kiddie SkySolo if you squint, because I can't help myself.
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated, thank you so much for taking the time to read!

“Be careful, Uncle Obi, Daddy is mad,” Leia informed Obi-Wan the moment he walked through the door.

“Well, it’s about time. He’s honestly long overdue for an outburst,” Obi-Wan said, shutting the door behind him to prevent any cold, winter winds from seeping into the quaint apartment. He shrugged off his coat and crossed the living room to join Leia, who was sitting on the floor by the coffee table, drawing with an artistic skill far above that of the typical five-year-old. Nothing about her was typical, to be fair, she was quite the precocious little thing. 

Obi-Wan pressed a kiss atop her head and sat down on the couch behind her. “What is he all riled up about this time, my darling?” 

Leia reached for her Robin's Egg Blue crayon -- her mother had recently given her the 120 count box as a gift for an outstanding report card -- and delicately added highlighting details to the ocean that she was drawing. “Luke.”

“What about him? What did he do?” Obi-Wan asked, only then registering that Luke was indeed absent. Well, that explained why it was so uncharacteristically quiet in the Skywalker home.

“He cut off Daddy’s hair,” Leia said casually.

“What?” Obi-Wan asked incredulously. “ _All_ of it? How...how did this happen?”

Leia shrugged. “I don’t know, I wasn’t there when he did it. I was reading in our room because Daddy said he was going to take a nap, and he asked us to stay quiet. Luke went wandering off even though I _told him_ not to. Then Daddy started yelling, Luke started crying, and now, Daddy has less hair.”

Obi-Wan sighed, rubbing his temples. “Where is your brother now?”

“Our room. Daddy sent him there for a time-out after all the yelling. It was a _lot_ of yelling, Uncle Obi. And Daddy turned purple, just like this.” Leia held up her Jazzberry Jam crayon, and yeah, Obi-Wan could definitely picture Anakin's enraged face in that particular color almost too easily.

Leia grinned up at Obi-Wan expectantly. “Is Luke going to be punished more?”

Obi-Wan let out a quick chuckle. “No, you little disciplinarian, he’s not going to be punished more. I just want to make sure he’s alright.”

“Well that’s disappointing,” Leia said with a pout, her attention shifting back to her artwork. “You should also know that Luke fed his broccoli to Artoo yesterday. You and Daddy didn’t notice, but I did. That’s deserving of a punishment if you ask me.”

Obi-Wan glanced over at the chubby beagle, Artoo, who was fast asleep on the adjacent couch. “That would explain why he was so gassy last night.” Obi-Wan stood up, scratching behind Artoo’s ear, eliciting a sleepy little grunt from the dog. “Thank you for your insight, my dear. And I’ll be sure your brother eats his broccoli tonight, I assure you.”

Leia smirked, seeming quite pleased with herself. “Give him extra to make up for last night."

“A wise idea as always, princess.” Obi-Wan caressed a hand along Leia’s shoulder as he passed her, making his way over to the twins’ bedroom.

It was eerily quiet and dark inside the usually cheerful room. To the untrained eye, it probably appeared empty, but Obi-Wan knew better. He walked over to the mountain stuffed animals, moving a gigantic slug to the side -- he really didn’t know why the kids even had such an obnoxiously large and hideous toy -- to reveal a sad little Skywalker.

“You haven’t been back here in a while,” Obi-Wan scooted into the plush fortress and sat beside Luke, who immediately climbed right into his lap, bringing a big, hairy plush toy with him. It was a Sasquatch, or at least, that was what Obi-Wan assumed it was, and it was Luke’s very favorite toy. An ugly thing, really, but if it made Luke happy, then who was Obi-Wan to judge? 

“I heard a bit about what happened from your sister, but would you care to enlighten me further?” Obi-Wan asked, stroking small circles into the boy’s back.

Luke shook his head against Obi-Wan’s chest.

“My boy, you know I can only make things better if you tell me what happened,” Obi-Wan said, slightly firmer this time.

“I made Daddy mad,” Luke said into Obi-Wan’s chest. It was barely audible, but Obi-Wan could still make it out. He was a teacher, making out incoherent jibberish was practically second nature at this point.

“Yes, I’ve gathered that much. Apparently, you decided to give your father a haircut while he was sleeping, correct?” 

Luke nodded. There was an obvious hesitance in his admittance, but at least he was owning up to it.

“Alright, now here’s the age-old question - why?” Obi-Wan taught philosophy at the undergraduate level -- because really, what else did someone named Obi-Wan Kenobi teach if not philosophy --it was his job to ask ‘why?’ Fortunately, he was quite good at it.

Luke finally looked up. It was hard to make out, given how dark the room was and the shadows that the numerous plush toys were casting onto Luke’s face, but Obi-Wan could see a genuine look of fear in his eyes. “I wanted to make sure he didn’t go evil.”

Obi-Wan raised an eyebrow. “Evil?”

“I had to make sure he didn’t go to the dark side, Uncle Obi, I just had to!” Luke cried out. “And the only way to do that was to cut his hair, that’s where the source of his power is, he said so yesterday!”

And just like that, all of Obi-Wan’s confusion subsided entirely. The power of ‘why’ proved triumphant once again. “You were playing Star Wars, weren’t you?” 

Luke nodded.

Star Wars was a game that Anakin -- and sometimes Obi-Wan -- played with the twins, based on the stories Anakin’s mother had told him throughout his childhood. It was a sort of live-action roleplaying game about a made-up galaxy comprised of different aliens who harnessed the ability to control a mysterious power known as The Force. Most of the Star Wars games in the Skywalker household centered around the battles between the light and dark sides of the force, with Anakin often taking on the role of the antagonist known as Darth Vader. He was quite good at playing the villain, and he often got more emotionally invested in his ‘part’ than he was willing to admit.

If modeling didn’t work out for him, perhaps Anakin had a career in the theater, though Obi-Wan had a feeling adult audiences would prove far more challenging to win over than credulous five-year-olds. He'd also miss getting to brag about his literal supermodel boyfriend in the faculty room at work, but he supposed bragging about an actor boyfriend was just as appealing. Dooku would still turn green with envy either way, which was all Obi-Wan really cared about when boasting to his colleagues.

“It’s nice that you were trying to save your father from his...evil hair,” Obi-Wan said, struggling to say those words with a straight face even to a child - was that _really_ the best that Anakin could come up with? 

He supposed he should be grateful that the idea to cut the hair actually came from Anakin and not the Solo boy from the twins’ school. That boy was truly a menace, and yet, Luke was particularly fond of him, for some horrible reason.

“It’s important to distinguish reality from fantasy, Luke.” Obi-Wan continued, disregarding his judgmental thoughts of a seven-year-old boy (at least for the moment). “I know you love playing Star Wars, but the game has to end once your father says it’s bedtime. He’s not really on the dark side, not even when he makes you eat broccoli. Just like how you’re not on the dark side when you feed that same broccoli to Artoo.”

Luke stirred in his lap, suddenly very interested in staring at the teddy bear on his right versus Obi-Wan at his center. “Did Leia tell you about that?” He asked meekly.

“She may have alluded to it, yes,” Obi-Wan began. “So I’ll be watching you tonight to make sure _all_ of your vegetables are eaten, and without the help from the dog. You should have smelt how bad he was farting last night, my god.”

Obi-Wan was usually not so crude with his words, but it had managed to get the tiniest of smiles to creep onto Luke’s face; it was worth the brief departure from his usual character. 

Luke’s smile didn’t last long; it was soon replaced by a look on his face that was far more solemn, a rare sight to see on the sweet boy. “Is Daddy still mad at me?”

“I don’t know,” Obi-Wan told Luke honestly. “But there’s only one way to find out. It seems that I’ll have to brave the dark side and go see Lord Vader myself.” He kissed Luke on the forehead, setting him back down amidst the zoo of plush animals.

“May the force be with you, Uncle Obi…” Luke whispered, burying his face into the softness of his precious Sasquatch.

Obi-Wan smiled, running a gentle hand through Luke’s scruffy blonde hair. “Thank you, I’m going to need it.”

A tight pain formed in his lower back as rose to his feet, a not so friendly reminder that he was getting old, probably too old to be dating a twenty-five year old with young twins. 

He ignored the feeling, as he always did.

Obi-Wan was greeted by the scent of burning ground beef upon stepping out of Luke and Leia’s room. Great, just what they needed in the midst of an already melodramatic evening - a fire.

He moved with urgency to the kitchen, but thankfully, he was not greeted by a massive fire like he had been envisioning once he arrived. While the meat sauce was indeed burning, it was just a little bit of smoke coming from a skillet. Anakin was ignoring it in favor of fussing over his reflection via the front camera on his phone. He had a grey beanie on, and Obi-Wan could see plenty of sandy blonde hair poking out from underneath it; nothing seemed out of the ordinary at all.

Obi-Wan moved over to the stove, firstly, turning the heat on the burner off. He looked over at Anakin, huffing. “Are these the famous multi-tasking skills you brag about having all the time in action? If so, I’m not impressed.”

Anakin lowered his cell phone, looking up with a stubborn pout, reminiscent of the one Obi-Wan had seen earlier on Leia. “I’m sorry, I’m just a little busy trying to figure out how I’m going to face the world now that I’m missing half of my hair.”

“You’re not missing half of your hair, I can see plenty of it even with that silly hat on.” Obi-Wan managed to get the sauce to stop burning, but he didn’t think he could salvage it beyond that. It smelt horrible, and he wasn’t about to see if it tasted any better than it looked. He put the skillet aside, stepping closer to Anakin, giving his boyfriend his undivided attention. “Take it off and let me see the damage.”

Anakin clutched the hem of his beanie, but he didn’t take it off. “I...can’t.”

Obi-Wan gripped the hand that was self-consciously clinging to the hat. “It’s alright, love. You know I’ll still find you beautiful, right?”

“I know,” Anakin said. “But it’s hard to _feel_ beautiful when it’s literally your job to be beautiful, and you look like _this_...”

Anakin swiftly tore the beanie off his head to reveal that he had almost all of his hair, minus a two-inch wide chunk that was now missing on his left side just above his ear. The chunk itself was not completely devoid of all hair, but it had still been cut quite short and close to the scalp.

It was somewhat jarring to look at, sure, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as what Obi-Wan had been anticipating.

“That’s it?” Obi-Wan snorted. “Your boy is crying as if he made you bald, my goodness.”

Anakin huffed. “I /am/ bald...well, not entirely, but it _is_ right in the front where I can’t hide it. I’ve got a photoshoot tomorrow, what am I supposed to do?”

Obi-Wan briefly wondered if it was a clothes on or off photoshoot. If it was a clothes off one, he doubted anyone would honestly be looking at Anakin’s hair with a critical gaze. 

He didn’t ask; it was hardly the appropriate time for such a question.

“You could shave it?” Obi-Wan suggested. “Partially shaved heads are popular at the moment, are they not? A lot of my students have haircuts like that.”

“Oh?” Anakin smirked, because even if his whole world was crashing down, Obi-Wan knew Anakin Skywalker would never give up an give up an opportunity to be smug. “What are you doing looking at your students so much, /Professor/?”

Obi-Wan scoffed. “There’s only one student I’ve ever looked at like _that_ , though I waited until he was out of my class - out of my University, even. I’m a professional, am I not?”

“That’s one way of putting it, sure,” Anakin retorted, sliding his lanky arms around Obi-Wan’s waist gracefully. “It all worked out in the end. You got to date a student without feeling like a total creep, and I’m proof that you can be successful as a college dropout.” 

“Easy to be successful in your line of work looking the way you do, my little dropout,” Obi-Wan teased, but with an apparent fondness present in his voice. Anakin had only dropped out to raise his children, and that was a choice Obi-Wan had nothing but the utmost respect for. “This won’t deter you in the slightest, trust me.”

Anakin looked him in the eye, and Obi-Wan didn’t see the slightest bit of doubt in them, no, he saw the spark that he had been attracted to on that fateful autumn day, several years ago. “I love you,” Anakin said fondly, his lips going in for a kiss.

Obi-Wan’s expression shifted to something slightly more serious as they parted from their brief kiss. “Luke feels awful about it, you know. He didn’t do it with bad intentions, he was just trying to save you from ‘the dark side of your hair’. Is that _really_ the best you could come up with?”

“They wanted to play last night and I was exhausted, cut me some slack,” Anakin complained, resting against the crook of Obi-Wan’s neck. “It probably wouldn't have even happened if you came home on time. You’re better with Star Wars games than I am.”

“You know I have my late office hours on Wednesdays,” Obi-Wan chastised, rolling his eyes. “Besides, I thought they were with Padme on Wednesdays. Is she alright?”

“She’s fine, she just had a meeting that was gonna run late, so she asked me to if I could take the kids a day early. You know how politicians are,” Anakin said, even though neither he nor Obi-Wan knew many politicians, save for Anakin’s ex. 

One thing Obi-Wan did know for certain was that if more politicians were like Padme, the world would likely have far less problem; She was an exceptional woman.

“Right, of course,“ Obi-Wan replied. “I also don’t know why you think I’m better at space live action roleplaying than you. Star Wars is /your/ game, everything I’ve learned about it came from you.”

“Well, maybe the student has surpassed the teacher then. That’s a philosophy saying, right?” Anakin asked. 

“It’s really not, no. Now I remember why you got a ‘D’ in my class.”

“And I’m still getting a ‘D’ from you now,” Anakin said with a downright childish snicker. 

Obi-Wan was about to scold Anakin for such a lewd and poor attempt at humor, but he was distracted when he heard a small whimpering noise coming from behind.

The noise sounded like Artoo whining for his dinner, but when Obi-Wan turned around, it was actually a petrified looking Luke standing there as opposed to a grumpy beagle. 

“Daddy?” Luke asked timidly, his posture stiff, his hands clenched tightly behind his back. “I...think I know how to fix your hair.”

Luke stepped forward and held out two shakey hands. In his right was a fistful of wavy, dark blonde hair, and in his left was an unopened bottle of Elmer’s glue. “I thought maybe I could stick it back on with my good glue. I was gonna save it for first grade, but I wanna use it to help you instead,” Luke sniffled and wiped at his nose with the sleeve of his shirt. “I’m sorry, Daddy.”

“Oh, Luke…” Anakin knelt down, embracing Luke tightly. “I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have yelled at you, especially since you were just trying to get the dark side out of me.”

Luke clung tightly to his father, dropping the glue and the fistful of hair. A comfortable silence overtook the room, and Obi-Wan was more than pleased to just watch the tender moment between father and son. 

Anakin had a lot on his plate. He was raising not one, but _two_ very strong-willed children, while still also a child himself in so many ways. He had given up so much for them. He dropped out of college to focus his efforts on raising them full time to allow his then girlfriend the ability to focus on her own degree. He was truly remarkable, Obi-Wan thought, and a far better father than he often gave himself credit for.

“You know, I think all of my dark side was in that one part of my hair. I don’t feel tempted by it at all any more,” Anakin said earnestly, scooping his son up in his arms and standing back up. “I think this might be a pretty decent look for me, actually. It’s...definitely a style, alright. Maybe you’ve got a secret calling as a hairstylist, Luke.”

Anakin’s voice cracked only slightly as he spoke of his hair; Obi-Wan was proud.

“Don’t encourage him, Daddy.” Leia entered the kitchen, a disgruntled and ravenous Artoo following behind her. Her nose wrinkled, and she looked up at the skillet in disgust. “You’re not _really_ going to make us eat this, right?”

“Yes, and we’re going to give you the biggest helping and plenty of broccoli to go with it,” Obi-Wan lied, but he wasn’t able to keep a straight face for long after seeing the skeptical look Leia was giving him. He chuckled, picking her up and kissing her cheek. “How does pizza sound?”

“Yay, pizza!” Luke cheered. It was almost comical how quickly his demeanor changed, but Obi-Was grateful for his capricious nature. He knew one day not all of their problems would be able to be solved with pizza and cuddles. Fortunately, today was not that day. 

“I’ll make the call for the pizza,” Anakin offered, passing Luke off to Obi-Wan and pulling out his cell phone. “Think you can call your barber tomorrow to squeeze me in so we can get this cleaned up? ”

“Sure. And remember to use my name for the teacher’s discount, too,” Obi-Wan said in jest, but he knew Anakin would do it anyway; the young man had zero shame

”You don’t have to tell me twice.” Anakin kissed him again. It was deeper and lingered longer than their last kiss, and it didn’t go unnoticed by the twins, of course, who let out a chorus of ‘ews’. 

Artoo chimed in with a few fervent barks of his own, but Obi-Wan knew the dog’s problem wasn’t with their kissing. What Artoo likely had a problem with was that it was _six-thirty_ and no one had given him his dinner. He nudged at Anakin’s leg with his paw, barking again.

“Alright, alright,” Anakin said, begrudgingly pulling away from Obi-Wan. “Keep it up and maybe I’ll ‘accidentally’ order salads instead.” Anakin looked sternly at Artoo. “And diet dog food, too.”

It was definitely an empty threat, but it worked; Luke and Leia mumbled barely detectable apologies under their breath, and Artoo sat down quietly, now waiting (somewhat) patiently for his dinner. 

“Impressive. Are you sure that’s not the power of the dark side?” Obi-Wan inquired.

“No, it’s the power of the dad side. It’s far more powerful, as you can see.” Anakin kissed Obi-Wan once more -- this one quick and to the point -- before he began fixing Artoo’s dinner while simultaneously phoning for the pizza. A much better use of his alleged multi-tasking skills, Obi-Wan thought.

“Can you tell us a story, Uncle Obi?” Luke asked eagerly, tugging at Obi-Wan’s cardigan. “You tell the best stories!”

“Can you make it a Star Wars one?” Leia added, poking Obi-Wan’s cheek.

“Of course I can, my darlings,” Obi-Wan agreed, not even wincing at the poking and prodding from the excited children. He settled down in one of the chairs at the kitchen table, both of the twins snuggling up against his chest. 

That sharp pain was still gnawing at his lower back, he was mentally drained from a long day of dealing with his stoner students, and there was a pile of supermodel hair on the floor that really needed to be swept before the dog decided to turn it into an appetizer. But those were all problems to be dealt with at a later time, if at all.

Right now, there was nothing that sounded more attractive to Obi-Wan than getting to spend time with his beloved twins in their beloved world of fantasy. 

Obi-Wan cleared his throat and began his story as all good ones did - at the beginning.

“A long time ago in a galaxy far, far, away…”


End file.
